What?
by Silverbird22
Summary: A series of dumb, mostly full of stupid humor, oneshots. From jokes about new features, to an apple's epic story. As well as random crossovers with my other FE stories. Enjoy the randomness within! (Japanese and English names used for Fates characters, most oneshots will not connect unless said so, can be considered a part of 'Lissa gets light magic' series...)
1. Chapter 1

**Why my friends and I shouldn't be around Fire emblem. This happens. So here is the story collections before it is made into comic strips (and a comic book in ones case)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not fates, or awakening..as this will be a series of one shots about those two games.**

* * *

Cyrus was excited, he rarely got to be around Kamui anymore! And she had called him to her personal apartments! It would be so nice to see his best friend!

"Kamui! You wanted to see me?" Cyrus yelled, as he opened Kamui's door.

With that Kamui smiled and closed the door behind him.

With that Kamui began petting his face, at sometimes slapping him. As well as randomly poking his lips. Cyrus just stood there smiling happily.

Yup, a perfectly normal day!

* * *

 **Its a skinshipping joke, I really haven't seen many made and well...It needed to happen at some point. And now, I will quote two friends of mine and myself when we were talking about why Fates isn't in the U.S yet, that partially inspired this one shot series:**

 **" _Why do we get Fates a good six months after Japan does?"_**

 **"Because you pet people's faces, clothes come of when you get critical hits, they swear regularly, in the Avatar creation screen you can take all there clothes off AND a good amount of love interests look like children."**

 **"Don't forget the incest! You can marry Marx, Camilla, Leon and Elise who were raised alongside you, and Ryouma, Hinoka, Takumi, and Sakura who literally thought you were there blood sibling growing up."**

 **"That too!"**

 **Next time: The story of an apple, Grima's vessel.(or why Silver shouldn't name things the first stupid thing she thinks of)**


	2. Chapter 2

And I'm back so...yeah, to the legends of an apple then.

Also, I will not be letting up on any spoilers...At all, this includes the Fates jokes and quotes. I will include them...You should really expect that from reading fanfiction...

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the weird randomness of this stories plot. Because an apple is going to keep returning.**

* * *

The group of teenagers sat there, school would begin in an hour. Which of course meant they were playing Smash Bros. on there 3DSes.

The few who did not have Smash Bros. sat near them, playing a mishmash of games. Pokemon Omegaruby/Alphasapphire/X/Y/HeartGold, Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days and finally a lone teenage girl sat in a corner playing Fire Emblem Awakening.

And by lone we mean she was the only one who was playing Awakening at the moment. She was actually quite crowded.

Suddenly, deciding it was time to restart a file she didn't like, and playing as the male Avatar for some reason. It was time for a name.

Suddenly she thought of the first thing she had, and added something else to make it correct in the way of grammar. And so an apple was born.

Almost immeaditly she laughed out loud at the dialogue being said and two people playing Days and Alphasapphire respectively joined her. We will call them Roxas and Alpha from here on out. The girl...was Silver and so the legends of an apple began, with him hearing voices in his head a lot.

* * *

"Validar! You have gone to far!" an apple cried out, blocking his Father's dark magic from Chrom.

"Why?"

"BECAUSE YOU ARE TRYING TO AWAKENING GRIMA AND YOU NAMED ME 'an apple.' FOR FUCKS SAKE! WHO THE HELL NAMES THERE KID THAT?!"

"It is a traditional Grimleal name my son."

"Shut up."

And so Chrom stabbed him in the gut, twice. And doged the attack. Then an apple threw a Thoron at him, then Chrom attacked him again. And Validar died.

"We didz it!" Chrom yelled, sheathing his sword.

"Yes Chrom we did," an apple answered, sighing.

"You haven't defeated me yet! And now I will do an evil thing!" Validar deeper and fired his dark and evil glow-y remains at Chrom.

"NOT TODAY!" an apple yelled, taking the blow for Chrom.

"Hey! an apple! Thanks? You alright we wo-" with that an apple stabbed Chrom in the gut with magic.

"This isn't your fault. Now get out of here and I swear to Naga, if you take my wife for yourself I will become a Risen and kill you," with that Chrom died and an apple blinked and yelled

"What the fuck?" And then he ignored the more important part of Chrom's wish and killed himself.

* * *

an apple became conscious, 'what the..Was that a dream? Am I secretly a Jedi? Or am I secretly Garnet?' he thought.

 **Far from it an apple.**

 _I can agree with that. But what was that beginning even?_

Dont question it, just don't question it. 

**Guys! Shut up! Story progress.**

"We have to do something Onii-chan-"

"Lissa, if you call me that again, I will punch you in the face."

"Fine, but seriously. We have to do SOMETHING!"

"You think of it Lissa, you are the healer!"

"CHROM, FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE ACT LIKE YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. I PITY THE WORLD WHERE YOU BECOME EXALT!"

an apple opened his eyes to a teenage girl wearing an impossible hair style, and a young man with an impossible hair color.

"Oh shit he's awake!" Blue said looking at an apple.

"Hi...Your hot." the girl answered back. And hinting the fact that she may or may not because this is being being told by three different people who all have different a ships so they argue about this a lot.

And so the most awkward adventure began, full of terrible jokes, arguing, insanity and most of all, BIRDS! So many fucking birds...

* * *

 **Next time: What do you mean the special edtions out?!**


End file.
